I got some unwanted news at my eye doctor appoinment last week.  You know the kind that requires more doctors and more followup appointments.  Yeah, that kind.  The eye doctor wanted me to go see a medical doctor for some tests and come back and see him in three months.  I finally got into see the medical doctor this morning.  She said there was no reason to think that I had the issues the eye doctor was concerned about.  My latest blood work was perfect in that regards.  I am happy, but the week of waiting to see her was sheer agony.  It always is for me.  I hope I am not the only one who worries about this stuff.  I think I am correct in saying that I am not.

Waiting for anything is never comfortable.  Worse it breeds – at least for me – worry.  I think back to the weekend between my biopsy and my breast cancer diagnosis.  I was more worried in the interim than I was after I heard the words, “You have cancer.”  My brain immediately went to all the worst case scenarios.  Our family track record with cancer is not good.  In my immediate family, the fatality rate from it was 100% before I was diagnosed.  I lost both parents and my 17-year-old sister to various forms of the disease.  It is not much better with extended family.  I have lost many loved ones to the big “C.”  Waiting and worrying of course gave me a weekend of thinking that I would be next.  I was worried about what my husband would do without me and where he would live (we were living in church housing because of my job with no home of our own and no money to procure one).  I was worried how my grown children would cope.  I was worried that I would never see my son married or with a family of his own.  I was worried that my daughter’s kids would grow up without a grandmother in their lives.  I was worried that the cost of treatment would bankrupt us, and then what would my husband do when I died anyway.  I was worried about leaving my church without a pastor midway through the appointment year. AGAIN!  I was really worried about everything.  And it was definitely made worse by waiting for answers.

I don’t know waiting is so worrisome other than a fear of the unknown and not being in control of the situation.  Throughout Scripture we are told not to worry, but to keep our eyes focused on God.  One of my favorite Scripture passages to this regard is in Matthew 6:25-34.  This is part of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount.  It reads:

‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?  And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?  And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?  Therefore do not worry, saying, “What will we eat?” or “What will we drink?” or “What will we wear?”  For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own.  Today’s trouble is enough for today.’  (NRSV)

Do not worry about tomorrow.  Today’s trouble is enough for today.  This is what I always forget.  Today has enough trouble of its own.  Worry about to day instead.  NOT REALLY!  I don’t think this is a call to worry at all.  I think that Jesus is telling us to quit worrying altogether.  I think He is saying to be fully present in the moment.  Pay attention to what is going on around you.  Love everyone the way that Jesus loves you.  Get to know those people inside and outside of your circle.  Learn their stories and discover their needs.  Then serve them the way Jesus Christ taught us to serve.  When we do that we won’t even think about worrying about today, much less tomorrow.  We will be too busy being the hands and feet of Jesus to care about the things we would otherwise be worried about.

I know I am preaching to the choir here.  Like I insinuated above, I am a worrier.  I am trying to do better.  I really am.  At least I know now that when I worry I am taking precious time and even more precious attention away from God and God’s precious, beautiful, and beloved children.  I have a lot of room to grow here.  Maybe you do to.  Will you pray with me and for me that you and I can stop worrying and just be present.  Let’s work togehter and strive first for the kingdom of God. We all need a little bit (perhaps a lot) more Jesus in our lives.  One way to get that is to be more like him – to listen, to love, and to serve as He taught us.  Besides worrying won’t add a single hour to our span of life and maybe, just maybe, we can stop worrying for a minute or two and let the kingdom break in.

P.S. I am glad to report that I am happy, healthy, and thriving two years post cancer treatment!  I am grateful that my God is good!!!!